In My Time of Dying: How I Came Face to Face with the Idea of an Afterlife by Sebastian Junger
Summary
"In My Time of Dying: How I Came Face to Face with the Idea of an Afterlife" by Sebastian Junger is a profound exploration of mortality, the meaning of life, and the concept of an afterlife. The author recounts personal experiences that brought him to the brink of death, reflecting on the philosophical, scientific, and existential implications of these encounters. The narrative delves into the duality of life and death, the role of meaning in human existence, and the scientific and metaphysical perspectives on the afterlife.
Key Points
1. The Duality of Death: Annihilation and Meaning
Junger acknowledges the stark reality of death as the complete annihilation of the individual, yet he also argues that without death, life would lack meaning. This paradox lies at the heart of his exploration.
Quotes:
"Death annihilates us so completely that we might as well have not lived, but without death, the life we did live would be meaningless because it would never end."
"Dying is the most ordinary thing you will ever do but also the most radical. You will go from a living, conscious being to dust. Nothing in your life can possibly prepare you for such a transition."
"Without death, life does not require focus or courage or choice. Without death, life is just an extraordinary stunt that won’t stop."
2. Meaning as a Consequence of Mortality
Junger suggests that meaning in life is often found in situations with intense consequences, where the possibility of death is more present. He argues that facing mortality can heighten our sense of purpose and appreciation for life.
Quotes:
"Situations that have intense consequences are exceedingly meaningful—childbirth, combat, natural disasters—and safer situations are usually not."
"adrenaline junkies are actually “meaning junkies,” and danger seekers are actually “consequence seekers.” Because death is the ultimate consequence, it’s the ultimate reality that gives us meaning."
"The arbitrariness of death would seem to mean life has very little value unless you flip the equation upside down and realize that any existence with guarantees can be taken for granted far too easily."
3. The Subjective Experience of Dying
Junger explores the subjective experiences of individuals facing death, drawing on accounts of near-death experiences (NDEs) and the observations of medical professionals. He highlights the disconnect between the biological understanding of death and the often peaceful or even transcendent experiences reported by those who have come close to dying.
Quotes:
"Doctors will tell you that a person lives or dies because of biology—organ failure, cell necrosis, blood loss—but many survivors say they remember it as a “decision.”"
"They claim to remember looking down at the doctors who are trying to save them, often in puzzlement, and don’t even recognize the dying body as their own. What doctors, nurses, and family members take to be a tragic end point, the dying often experience as an infinite expansion."
"The dying often say that they reentered their bodies only because the living still needed them."
4. Consciousness and the Quantum Enigma
Junger delves into the mysteries of quantum mechanics, exploring the role of observation in shaping reality and the possibility that consciousness might be a fundamental aspect of the universe. He discusses the idea of biocentrism, which challenges the traditional view of mind-body separation.
Quotes:
"The act of observing something created the very thing that was being observed—which, until then, had existed only as a set of probabilities called a wave function."
"A universe where consciousness is woven into the very nature of matter would seem to explain both the greatest quantum puzzles as well as our subjective experience of life. The proposal, sometimes known as biocentrism..."
"Is it not possible that consciousness, like space-time, has its own intrinsic freedom and that neglecting these will lead to a description of the universe that is fundamentally incomplete?”
5. Embracing Mortality and Finding Meaning
Junger emphasizes the importance of accepting the inevitability of death and finding meaning in the face of our mortality. He suggests that this acceptance can lead to a deeper appreciation for life and a more profound connection to the present moment.
Quotes:
"Everyone has a relationship with death whether they want one or not; refusing to think about death is its own kind of relationship."
"Religious people understand life is a miracle, but you don’t need to sub it out to God to be rendered almost mute with wonder."
"We’re all on the side of a mountain shocked by how fast it’s gotten dark; the only question is whether we’re with people we love or not. There is no other thing—no belief or religion or faith—there is just that."
Conclusion
"In My Time of Dying" is a powerful and thought-provoking exploration of one of the most fundamental aspects of the human experience: our mortality. Through his lens and insightful analysis of scientific and philosophical perspectives, Sebastian Junger invites us to confront the inevitability of death not with fear or denial but with a sense of curiosity and a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life.
The book's strength lies in its ability to weave personal narrative, scientific inquiry, and philosophical reflection together. Junger's near-drowning experience serves as a visceral starting point, grounding his exploration in the raw reality of facing one's mortality. From this personal encounter, he expands outward, examining the physiological processes of dying, the psychological experiences of those facing death, and the enduring human fascination with the afterlife.
Junger doesn't shy away from the stark realities of death. He details the body's shutdown mechanisms, the "trauma triad of death," and the concept of entropy, the universe's inevitable decline into disorder. Yet, he also acknowledges the subjective experiences of individuals who have come close to death and returned, often with a sense of peace, expanded awareness, or even a glimpse of another reality. These accounts of near-death experiences (NDEs) highlight the disconnect between the scientific understanding of death as a biological endpoint and the often profound and transformative experiences reported by those who have brushed against the veil.
The book's exploration extends beyond the individual experience of dying to encompass broader philosophical and scientific questions. Junger delves into the mysteries of quantum mechanics, the role of observation in shaping reality, and the intriguing idea of biocentrism. This concept, which suggests that consciousness might be fundamental to the universe, challenges the traditional view of a mind-body separation and offers a new perspective on the relationship between our inner world and the external reality we perceive.
One of the central themes of "In My Time of Dying" is the search for meaning in the face of our mortality. Junger argues that meaning in life is often found in situations with intense consequences, where the possibility of death is more present. He suggests facing our mortality can heighten our sense of purpose and appreciation for life. This idea resonates with his experiences as a war correspondent, where he witnessed firsthand how individuals find meaning and purpose in extreme danger and loss.
Ultimately, "In My Time of Dying" is a meditation on acceptance and understanding. Junger encourages readers to confront the inevitability of death, not with fear, but with a sense of curiosity and a deeper appreciation for the preciousness of life. He suggests that accepting our mortality can free us from the illusion of permanence and allow us to live more fully in the present moment.
The book's conclusion is both poignant and hopeful. Junger acknowledges death's mystery and the unknowable nature of what lies beyond. Yet, he also finds solace in the interconnectedness of life and death, the cyclical nature of existence, and the enduring power of love and connection.
"In My Time of Dying" is a book that stays with the reader long after the final page is turned. It invites us to reflect on the significance of our lives, the inevitability of death, and the mystery of what lies beyond. Junger's journey and his insightful exploration of scientific and philosophical perspectives offer a unique and compelling perspective on the human condition, encouraging us to embrace the transient nature of our existence and find meaning in the time we have.
Other quotes
“The existential charm of tree work is that your fate is entirely in your hands. The stakes are high—your life—but as with chess, there are no random events. All the information you need to survive is right in front of you, and if you don’t, it’s because you made a mistake.”
“Death annihilates us so completely that we might as well have not lived, but without death, the life we did live would be meaningless because it would never end. One of the core goals of life is survival; the other is meaning.”
Trauma triad of death: Burning glucose instead of oxygen is a desperate short-term measure because it produces lactic acid, which in turn impairs heart function. As heart function declines, the body gets less blood and sinks further into hypothermia, which lowers oxygen levels and clotting factors in the blood even more. Low clotting factors quickly culminate in coagulopathy, where the blood can’t clot. This feedback loop is known as the “trauma triad of death.”
“We have no idea whether the universe even notices us, much less cares.”
“Eventually, children start reassuring their parents rather than vice versa.”
“Your body can’t understand problems in any cognitive sense, which is what your mind would need to make sense of the information. They are two separate operating systems: one has thoughts, the other has sensations.”
“The human body has around ten pints of blood in it—or “units,” as doctors prefer. Women tend to have less blood than men, and children have less blood than adults, but in all cases, a healthy person can lose around 15 percent of their blood without much effect.”
“At around 30 percent blood loss, though—three to four units—the body starts to go into compensatory shock to protect its vital organs. The heart rate increases to compensate for low blood pressure, breathing gets faster and shallower, and capillaries and small blood vessels constrict to keep blood where it’s needed most, in the heart, lungs, and brain.”
“At 40 percent blood loss, the body starts to cross over into a state from which it cannot recover independently. All organs need oxygen to function, including the heart, and if blood pressure drops too far, the heart can’t beat fast enough to maintain sufficient blood pressure for survival. At that point, the person goes from compensatory to hemorrhagic shock and actively starts dying. He or she may start shaking convulsively and slip in and out of consciousness. The person will be hallucinatory and delusional; in fact, they may have no idea they are dying. The brain, heart, and vital organs are not getting enough oxygen and are beginning to shut down, which accelerates a process of acid toxicity triggered by the initial shock of blood loss. Acidosis can kill people even though they received enough blood to keep their heart beating.”
“The more saline you give a person before giving them actual blood, the more you dilute the clotting factors and the more danger they are in.”
“Universal blood type, O negative”
“Believing things you don’t understand is either obedience or desperation, and neither leads to the truth.”
“Quantum physics could be tested without being understood, allowing humans to see how the universe worked without knowing why.”
“The price of getting to love somebody is having to lose them, I wrote. The price of getting to live is having to die.”
“The problem with rationality is that things keep happening that you can’t explain.”
“Modern society has the worst of both: lives that can end in a moment because that has always been true, but the illusion of guaranteed continuity.”
“The arbitrariness of death would seem to mean life has very little value unless you flip the equation upside down and realize that any existence with guarantees can be taken for granted far too easily.”
“You are statistically more likely to die at three in the morning than three in the afternoon because senior doctors try to avoid graveyard shifts.”
“The word blessing is derived from the Anglo-Saxon word for blood—bledsian—and contains in its meaning the idea that there is no great blessing without sacrifice, and perhaps vice versa.”
“It’s very easy to prove you have cancer, it turns out, and almost impossible to prove you don’t.”
“The past and the future have no tangible reality in our universe; God’s creation exists moment by moment or not at all, and our only chance at immortality might lie in experiencing each of those moments as the stunning extravagance they actually are.”
“Even when we’re with people we love, we are alone.”
“The medical paradox of lucidity during collapsing brain function: The brain uses 15 percent of the oxygenated blood and around 20 percent of the glucose. When the heart stops, those huge needs suddenly go unmet, and electrical activity in the brain plummets. And yet awareness seems to increase.”
The conclusions are always mild-mannered but unequivocal: there is no rational reason to believe that NDEs are anything but hallucinations. The brain is by far the most complex structure in the known universe, with an estimated hundred trillion neural connections, and those connections give rise to an extremely mysterious phenomenon called consciousness. Consciousness is still far beyond the capability of the largest computer networks but extremely vulnerable to distortion. Hallucinations, visions, disembodied voices, premonitions, and visions of God can feel extremely real but have no provable basis in reality.
The world over, people believe in two realities: one we walk around in and the “other” that we go to from time to time.
“If the force of gravity were even slightly weaker, stars wouldn’t be dense enough to cross the Coulomb barrier and start thermonuclear fusion. It would be a completely dark universe. If gravity were slightly stronger, stars would burn too hot and fast, and there would be no life. If the attractive force between electrons and atomic nuclei were too weak, electrons couldn’t orbit; if it were too strong, atoms couldn’t bond. Either way, there would be no molecules. More than thirty such parameters must have almost the precise values they do to permit a universe with life. The odds of that happening have been calculated to be one to the negative 230—that is to say, one chance in a number that has 229 zeros after it. Randomly finding a specific grain of sand on the first try among all the grains on earth would be millions of millions of times more likely than the universe existing. And yet here we are.”
“Death is a final spike in the entropy that all living creatures must fight to exist”
“At every scale, the universe has suffered a net loss of stored energy since the Big Bang. More stars are collapsing than are being born, more gas molecules are spreading out than are coming together, and more heat is dispersing than is being generated. Eventually, the universe will cool to a temperature so close to absolute zero that there will be no light, thermal energy, atomic movement, and time. The cosmos does not go howling on forever; in other words, it is born, ages, and dies as we do. When people hope for eternal life, they hope for something that even the universe, fourteen billion light-years across and still expanding at the speed of light, cannot be granted.”
“Humans can delay entropy for a little while—a lifetime, in fact—by eating food, drinking water, and breathing air. We are the metabolic equivalent of pushing a boulder up a hill. When we eat grains or vegetables, we eat something that gets its energy from the sun; when we eat meat, we eat something that gets its energy from plants that, in turn, gets its energy from the sun. Food can be thought of as stored sunlight, and sunlight can be thought of as stored energy from the Big Bang. When we die, we stop being able to metabolize food, and the cellular barriers that separate us from the outside world break down. The boulder rolls back to the bottom of the hill.”
“As chemist Addy Pross points out, all human cells are replaced many times over but maintain a pattern—the human body—that persists as long as those cells can metabolize energy. And all those human bodies, in turn, constitute the species Homo sapiens sapiens that persists across generations even though the individuals that make up the human race keep dying.”
“Throughout history and across societies, moral behavior usually boils down to not treating people as disposable—perhaps because we intuitively know that entropy will make that clear soon enough.”
“The universe of energy is, we are told, running down,” neuroscientist Sir Charles Sherrington observed sadly. “It tends fatally towards equilibrium. An equilibrium in which life cannot exist.”
The Planck constant meant that the laws of physics governing the macroscopic world—planets, pool balls, pendulums—failed at the subatomic level. A different set of laws took over that seemed to defy not only common sense but everything that was previously known.
Heisenberg’s theory proposed that an electron is not a particle that exists at one place at one time the way a person or a chair does; rather, it occupies all positions at once as a statistical probability. When you pin it down by observing it with a detector, the electron freezes in place, and you lose all information about its momentum. When you stop observing it, you regain information about its momentum but lose its location. There was no way to have both. Observing something created the very thing that was being observed—which, until then, had existed only as a set of probabilities called a wave function.
“Physicists eventually proposed that the universe existed as a nearly infinite wave function containing all possible outcomes until conscious thought forced it to spring into existence in its current singular form.”
Liszinski’s plea was that not only do you deprive God of dignity by insisting He be something He can’t—self-creating—but you also strip society of the benefits of reason. There is a point at which reason fails, however. The entire universe can be understood mathematically to the subatomic level, but only religion claims to know how it came to exist in the first place. Math and reason fail utterly in this regard. Without God, either existence is inevitable—a state for which there are no mathematics—or it is almost infinitely unlikely but came into existence during an infinity of time.
“If everything has a creator, then God must, too, in which case you are right back where you started.”
“With the expansion of science, it becomes more and more complicated to talk about God in simplistic terms,” writes Stanford physicist Andrei Linde. “Apparently, the laws of the universe work so precisely that we do not need any hypothesis of a divine intervention in order to describe the behavior of the universe as we know it. There remained one point which was hidden from us and which remained unexplained: the moment of creation of the universe as a whole. The mystery of creation of everything from nothing could seem too great to be considered scientifically.”
“By measuring radiation left over from what is known as the big bang, they have reverse-engineered the process to pinpoint the moment of creation at 13.787 billion years ago, plus or minus about .15 of a percent of the total. At that point, the universe theoretically measured one “Planck length”—the smallest possible distance of the subatomic world—and was infinitely hot and dense. This is referred to as the “singularity” and is as close as physicists come to talking about God.”
Ten to the negative 36 seconds after the singularity, the universe began to inflate faster than the speed of light. Subatomic fluctuations of Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle grew from a Planck length to clusters of galaxies hundreds of light-years across in an amount of time too small to measure. The initial inflation stopped at 10 to the negative 33 seconds, and the electromagnetic force binding electrons and atoms popped into existence at 10 to the negative 12 seconds. That allowed for the formation of matter. After that, the universe began to involve energy levels low enough to be reproduced in a particle accelerator, so the rest of creation is known in far greater detail.
“At the theoretical singularity, there was no time, no light, no space, no gravity, no mathematics, no laws of physics, and no constants; every value was infinite. Science writer Jim Holt has described it as a “closed space-time of zero radius,” meaning that it contained the three dimensions of space and the one dimension of time within an infinitely small point. But Heisenberg’s uncertainty principle says that every state—even nothingness—must include random change, necessitating that quantum nothingness will occasionally become quantum somethingness.”
“The universe itself could result from less than one milligram of matter compressed to a size billions of times smaller than an electron,” writes Linde. “One may consider our part of the universe as an extremely long-lived quantum fluctuation… Is it not possible that consciousness, like space-time, has its own intrinsic freedom and that neglecting these will lead to a description of the universe that is fundamentally incomplete?”
“A fleeting subatomic particle called the Higgs boson is responsible for the force of gravity and gives matter mass; perhaps a similar unknown particle is responsible for consciousness.”
“A mix of minerals organized as a human brain summons the world into existence by collapsing its wave function, giving physical reality to the very minerals the brain is made of.”
The mind-body problem is… the problem of getting consciousness to arise from biology. Suppose you want to solve the mind-body problem. In that case, you can take the physical as a given and explain the genesis of the conscious experience or take the conscious experience as a given and explain the genesis of the physical. But you can’t do both.
On one island, researchers shot a particle at the double slits, and it passed through both of them as an unobserved wave function. Eighty-eight miles away, via fiber optics cable, they then shot its entangled twin at double slits while observing it with a photon detector; as expected, its wave function collapsed, and it passed through only one slit. But now the universe had a problem: Entangled particles have to do the same thing, but the delayed choice had tricked them into acting differently. That was impossible. When researchers checked the strike plate of the first test, though, they found that the wave function had been retroactively collapsed by the second test and forced through a single slit. Quantum information had been erased.
“Our universe was created by unknowable forces, has no implicit reason to exist, and seems to violate its own basic laws.”
A universe where consciousness is woven into the very nature of matter would seem to explain both the greatest quantum puzzles as well as our subjective experience of life. The proposal, sometimes known as biocentrism. Critics say biocentrism is not a legitimate theory because it can’t be tested, but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong. If consciousness comprises an essential part of the physical universe, the very idea of testing its existence may be a logical impossibility.
The ultimate truth must never be known, because once the knower understands that he is the entirety of all things, the universe becomes fatally self-referential and collapses back into a closed spacetime of zero radius with all values headed to zero and all history annihilated.
“We’re all on the side of a mountain shocked by how fast it’s gotten dark; the only question is whether we’re with people we love or not. There is no other thing—no belief or religion or faith—there is just that. Just the knowledge that when we finally close our eyes, someone will be there to watch over us as we head out into that great, soaring night.”